We all want to make a difference. I have found that there are three very specific characteristics and skills that allow us to do so. These are developed with time as we move through work and life. It is impossible for all three to be in place from the start. They cannot be rushed. Yet as I tell people when I am mentoring or speaking, when these three elements finally converge, it becomes possible to achieve a larger role and a greater impact in one’s company as well as in the community. These three elements are intelligence, experience, and emotional maturity. 

Intelligence comes first. Is a person capable of learning? It is no coincidence that when a student wants to enter medical school, they take a test. This test is called the Medical College Admission Test®, or MCAT®. However, when medical schools review these results, they understand that doing great on the MCAT does not assure success in medical school. It does show the candidate has the mental capacity to do well.

 

Medical schools, like all schools and employers, understand that items like work ethic, resilience, critical thinking, integrity, passion, and so forth play a big role in a person’s success. However, those items may not make up for a person just not having the smarts to learn what is being taught. Past success is one measure of intelligence. But how does an employer know whether someone has the capacity to learn the job if they have never done it?

 

For many roles, there are assessment tools to check out a person’s knowledge and skills in areas needed to be successful. Apprentice programs in skilled trades are very interested in math skills. Moneyball, the book by Michael Lewis about professional baseball, introduced how new technology and analytics are shaping the sport. Today, it’s possible to measure spin rotations for pitchers. We can measure bat speed, the speed and angle of a ball leaving a bat, and so forth. 

 

Similarly, there are tools today that can help measure how an employee will respond to a situation that requires critical thinking. Is the person an inductive or deductive thinker? Which preference do they lean to: outcomes, process, people, or structure? 

 

While we have come so far in using new technology in many other ways, we often hire like we have for decades. Yet it just makes good sense to find and use an appropriate assessment tool to check out someone’s smarts before we hire them. Adding this to various hiring measures is step one: Are they up to the task? Do they have the ability to learn the many aspects of the role?

 

The next element that leads to success is experience. I believe it often comes faster than emotional maturity.  

 

While someone can be very smart and have the basic skills they need to do a job well, the key to mastering these skills is frequency. Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers, says many times it’s the difference between great results and not-so-great results.

 

We have so much to learn from those who have gained experience. When I first started teaching in a high school, it was great to talk with other first-year teachers to know I was not alone in my anxiety, etc. However, it was the experienced teachers who were the most valuable in teaching me how to handle situations.

 

The key is to provide people with opportunities to gain experience. This will naturally happen in their primary role; however, to grow, they will want experience in other areas too. Jonathan Griffith, president of the Pensacola Blue Wahoos baseball team, is a good example of a leader who gets this. He will miss a certain number of games each year, and during those times will have others step into his role. It helps them see what he does, provides them with learning experiences, and shows confidence in their ability to handle roles they’re not normally in.

 

Years ago my father was going to a physician for back surgery. He jokingly asked the doctor if he had ever done this type of surgery. The doctor figured him out quickly and jokingly said, “No, I haven’t, but I have always wanted to!” He then shared with my dad that he does more of this type of surgery than almost anyone in the world. Case closed!

 

The next key to success is one I feel separates the highly successful individuals from all others: emotional maturity. To me, this is the make-or-break item. Every person I have met who has achieved what would be considered a top leadership role has strong emotional maturity. They have gotten to the point where their emotions don’t win out over their thinking on a regular basis. 

 

Getting there is not easy. While gaining experience will cause discomfort, I feel emotional maturity is the most painful to master. I call it the ego deflator. For example, think of a young chef who takes a job in a restaurant that gets great reviews. This chef obviously loves cooking. They did well in culinary school. They have the smarts. So they start out in an entry-level position and do well. Their role is likely focused directly on preparing and cooking food. They are not supervising others, not ordering the supplies, not in charge of the cost of goods. (The top chef, who is experienced and does a great job, is in charge of all of this.)

 

The years pass, and the young chef gains experience in more aspects of the job. Then one day, the top chef retires. The young chef takes over and is now in charge of all hiring, menu selection, purchasing, staffing, and so forth. It’s not easy to master these tasks, and the young chef likely makes a few missteps. It’s not long before some not-very-positive reviews come in. How does the young chef handle the feedback? Do they get defensive? It is likely that for the first time, the fear of failure is there. Do they blame the customers who wrote the critical reviews? Or do they hold up the mirror and ask what they might need to improve?

  

So, when we receive critical feedback, do we make excuses? Yes, there are times when the feedback is not correct; however, even then we can learn from it. Emotional maturity is the ability to deflate one’s ego, pause before acting, see someone else’s point of view, and not let emotions like envy, fear, or resentment get in the way of performing one’s task.

 

Bottom line: When intelligence is combined with experience and emotional maturity, great results will come to the individual, the company they work for, and the community they live in. Hopefully, one is born with the first and gains the second over time. The third is optional, but probably the most important. We can all work toward emotional maturity—and we need to make it a priority if we’re to grow as employees, as leaders, as citizens, and as human beings.